Wacky Dr. #... Not even Sure anymore....

Osteopathy (including Cranial Osteopathy) takes advantage of the body's natural tendency to strive toward a state of health and homeostasis. A much in demand specialty, the Osteopath is trained to palpate (feel) the body's "living anatomy" (i.e. flow of fluids, motion and texture of tissues, and structural makeup). They address health problems with a non-invasive system of medicine called, "Osteopathic Manual Medicine" in order to restore normal function in areas impaired by trauma, chronic illness, acute health problems, etc.

IE.. This is a kooky Dr. and he is crazy and when he gets at you he does pretty much nothing, but it traumatizes you in such a way that you feel like you've just had massive trauma..

So.. apparently my ribs were bowed by the hit i took last winter by the hill from snowboarding and apparently, they are now back in place.. who figured huh? Oh my nerves.

Not Good Not Bad

Well this week has been uneventful for all. I am ready for some normalnacy to enter my life. It seems that just when i feel like I'm situated back into my life I get blasted with some silliness. Thankfully this weekend is a retreat, and I'm feeling like that's what I need this weekend is a weekend away with God.. just Him and me, and 60 teens :) hee hee..but it should be a lot of fun, and an joy to watch the teens worship Him.

I've felt a level of being misunderstood this year. That's probably the way this year is going to go down, as me being misunderstood. Which is fine, it's rather frustrating, but some people would rather lash out than understand, which i have to appreciate and understand - and move on from. Being misunderstood almost sucks as much as being lonely.

:)

Going out to another in love means risk - the risks of self-disclosure,
rejection, misunderstanding. It means grief, too, from the temporary
separations, psychological or physical, to the final separation of death.
Whoever insists on personal security and safety as the nonnegotiable
conditions of life will not be willing to pay love's price or find love's
enrichments. Whoever shuts himself or herself up in the cocoon of
self-protective defenses, keeping others always at a safe distance and
holding on tightly to personal possessions and privacy, will find the price
of love far too high and will remain forever a prisoner of fear.

John Powell

Which would you rather - get hit by a milk truck, or get hit by it's shadow?

Been thinking about this phrase.. Some time ago my great uncle was hit by a milk truck and it ended his life. Fairly random you think? Yeah I thought so as well, but he had become deaf in his old age, and did not hear the truck coming and stepped out in the street. Sometimes it feels like that in my life. That I step out into circumstances and events that I can't hear, and *Bam* I get smacked by a Milk Truck..

But that's not reality, and I was reminded of that this week. Reality is that Jesus is the only one who was ever hit by a Milk Truck. He took full force the penalty of sin, and the penalty of death, on His shoulders for me. As a result, all that I get hit with is the shadow of the Milk Truck, and as we all know shadows, although they block our sun, and can make us kinda cold and feel dreary, do not really hurt us.

As I face this week with all it's randomness and distraction, I'm keeping this truth in mind. It's just a shadow, it's not real, not matter what it FEELS like, I can trust that Jesus has born the full force of whatever comes my way.

Lots of confusion today. My body is tired and really sick of this scenario that keeps happening over and over again. I just get situated with Jesus and something else happens to knock me over. I am tired of fighting and tired of getting back up. Which maybe isn't a bad thing, maybe it's the desired outcome, today I feel defeated and exhausted.

I have begged Jesus to take this situation from me, cried out to Him cause the burden seems to much. I had HUGE relief from it yesterday morning, and then with a simple phone call got smashed back down into it again. I'm struggling to find words to describe my state of mind, and even more with being in this place day after day after day.

I am praying for a miracle, praying that this state will leave me, that I will get over my self, and the circumstances that are gripping me and be able to lean on Jesus once again. I need Him, like the air that I breathe.

Don't Let My Focus Drift

Been a crazy week of distractions. I can't seem to get through a day without something or some crazy revelation distrating me. I only want to see Jesus this week. That's all I desire or want, but there seems to be so many other conversations and demands of my time and energy this week. It's getting to the point where it's frustrating to me, as every 5 minutes I go back to begging God to switch my focus back onto Him.

I don't know how to clear your mind of thoughts about other things, how to stop focusing on everything but Jesus. I know that He is the only solution to the situations that I am finding myself faced with today - that He can be the only comfort that is of value and worth in my life today. That no matter how much I want something, or desire to have something, that until and unless He provides it in His good timing, it won't satisfy me or fill me like I desire it to. Oh how I long for a single mindedness. This week more than the rest I don't care about the storms brewing around me, I don't care about the "impending doom" I just want to see Jesus. Give me Jesus.. that's all I want today!!

It's Been A While

Well.. the trip to Barbados has come and gone and I realized today that I hadn't mentioned it at all. I had a great trip. It was fast, and now into the first full week of March I feel like I had never gone.

It was an incredible feeling to be outside without a jacket on, not to wear winter boots, not to worry about frost bite, just to be able to enjoy the outside. I had a balcony view of the ocean, and the first morning I woke up went right out on the balcony and cried. I felt so blessed and so incredibly loved by God that I would be the ONLY person from our entire group with a ocean view.

My heart is heavy this week. Been struggling with making a decision. God is good, and all that remains is readjusting. I hate closing doors, and I hate hurting people. Two of my most feared things. Both I have managed to do this week. I'm leaning on God's Grace extra strong this week. Trusting that He is going to make sence out of all that is going on, and that good will come out of this situation no matter what it looks like on the outside.