Lots of confusion today. My body is tired and really sick of this scenario that keeps happening over and over again. I just get situated with Jesus and something else happens to knock me over. I am tired of fighting and tired of getting back up. Which maybe isn't a bad thing, maybe it's the desired outcome, today I feel defeated and exhausted.

I have begged Jesus to take this situation from me, cried out to Him cause the burden seems to much. I had HUGE relief from it yesterday morning, and then with a simple phone call got smashed back down into it again. I'm struggling to find words to describe my state of mind, and even more with being in this place day after day after day.

I am praying for a miracle, praying that this state will leave me, that I will get over my self, and the circumstances that are gripping me and be able to lean on Jesus once again. I need Him, like the air that I breathe.