Feeling Freakish

Most of the time I feel like a wierdo. This is going to sound crazy but I really sometimes wonder if I can ever be normal. Most of my friends would say, you don't want to be normal, you are artsy, or ecclectic or whatnot. I saw a guy friend of mine last night and he just looked at me most of the night like i was a wierdo. I really only talked to him a couple of times and both times he just laughed at me like i was a kook. THis being the guy who asked me once if i had therapy. I'm tired of being the crazy one, tired of being the one who is eccentric. I'm tired of guys being scared of me and thinking that i'm nutters. Really and truly i wish i could be normal for one day for ONE SECOND.. and not have to get those looks from people, the looks of holy flip you are one crazy bird.

I hate being different sometimes, and truly that's why the one whom i don't speak of was so dang hard to get over, he didn't treat me like a freak, he didn't make me feel touched. He just accepted me for who I was.. and i loved that. Where the #*&$#* is the guy who is going to think there is nothing wrong with me?