I Don't Understand You

So many times you have hurt me in the past, by not being there when I needed you. By just being so lax about our relationship. By not ever knowing what I need. It's like you don't have intuition at all. Things you KNEW hurt me, you said you would never ever do again, and then today I get an e-mail and you are doing it all over again. We used to be on the same page, we used to have things in common, but right now it feels like you are in an alternate universe from me. I wish things could be different. I really want to be there in your life. I want to know that you are in my life, and that I can depend on you, but the truth is I never could. I think I tricked myself into thinking that you were a big part of my life, when you could never be, there isn't room in your heart for me, and I don't think that I will ever understand it. There is so much love in your life, that I think you just don't need any more. So much else going on that you don't need one more human in there. The communication right now is just painful, and you don't see it, and that may be the very worst thing of all.