Adopted

Ephesians 1: 3-6 How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He's the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth's foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.


Adoption... Its something I'd love to do someday.. To have the opportunity to love on a child who might not otherwise get the opportunity to have a family and a stable home environment. Been listening to Starfield's Newest CD and there is a line that says "we are the children of God's heart"..And that's the best way to describe adoption.. It's having heart children, children maybe not conceived through a conventional way, but children born from the heart, and idea.. A desire to love.. A feeling like the family is not complete without the adopted child.

And so is the Heart of Daddy towards us. We are his heart children.. His desire is for us. His family is not complete without us.. It has nothing to do with God.. He is complete, He is whole, but His family is not without us being grafted in. He has lavished His great love on me, a sinner, and has given me a spot in His family. A very long time ago my life, my being, my unique personality and quirkiness was on His mind, and in His heart, and in His timing and pleasure, I was created and adopted into His family. What a reason to celebrate! I am the King of the Universe's Heart Child.. How blessed am I?

Living Life

So got hit with these verses from 1 Corinthians 7 this week...

17And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life.


God is such a punk sometimes.. How He can take a passage and make things so clear in your mind.. things that you have been struggling with, issues that you have cried over and worried over, and then *Bam.. wrap it all up in a few sentences and make everything so clear to you..

Wishing - something i do a lot of... wishing for this friendship or that, this relationship or that, this item or that, this snowboard or that.. this car or that.. this life, or that.. this holiday or that.. it seems my heart is never content, and here it is in black and white.. be content.. where you are.. with who you have.. Right now this is what God has for you.. So incredible to realize that right now, everything I have is what God wants for me for right now. it's my home.. it's the place God has made for me for this time.. it could be days it could be weeks, it could be months or years but it has been customized for me.. and I can take courage in that.

Live, Love, Obey, and Believe.. those are not just themes for another day.. they are for right now irregardless of my situation or how i think it will all turn out.. God wants my life right now to be an adventure to be lived .. not just survived, or held onto until a brighter day.. TO know love, even in the midst of lonliness, this is His desire for my life.

finally, just to know that God alone defines me.. it is not my divorced badge that i wear, but His love in my life.. His adopting me and giving me a new name and a hope for tomorrow. that is what defines my life.. May I never forget that..

Saint John

AHHHHH back to my fair city again. So good to see the streets and the port city again.. I miss that place, not sure why I have such an affection for the city, but I do. Need to do a road trip this summer. Spend some time at the Nature Park.

While we were there we dropped in to see the Newsboys. It was such a time of worship and encouragement. I was so impressed with their attitudes, and sense of desire to encourage and uplift the believers in the city. It was an amazing time with Jesus, and I was totally able to feel and revel in God's love for me.

One song totally blew me away - last song of the night - one I have heard a hundred times, but that hit deep on Saturday night. I am free... such small words with such big meaning. There are times I truly know this, times that it is as real as my mother's amazing brownies, but some times I feel so bound, so tied by my circumstances and doubts. This song wakes me back up - reminds me of Jesus' power in my life and His Bigness in the face of all my very great weakness. Who I am is no match for the love of Jesus. My doubts can't stand in Jesus' victory. And when I realize these truths, I am set free to live, to dance and to run... straight to the One I know has won the victory for me..

I Am Free -Newsboys

Through you the blind will see
Through you the mute will sing
Through you the dead will rise
Through you our hearts will praise
Through you the darkness flees
Through you my heart screams I am free
I am free

Chorus: (2x’s)
I am free to run
(I am free to run)
I am free to dance
(I am free to dance)
I am free to live for you
(I am free to live for you)
I am free
(I am free)
Yes, I am free
(I am free)

Through you the blind will see
Through you the mute will sing
Through you the dead will rise
Through you our hearts will praise
Through you the darkness flees
Through you my heart screams I am free
I am free
Are you free?
I am free

Chorus: (2x’s)

(Peter’s Prayer)

Chorus: (2x’s)

Peter... and Breaky with Jesus

John 21:1-3After this, Jesus appeared again to the disciples, this time at the Tiberias Sea (the Sea of Galilee). This is how he did it: Simon Peter, Thomas (nicknamed "Twin"), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the brothers Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. Simon Peter announced, "I'm going fishing."

3-4The rest of them replied, "We're going with you." They went out and got in the boat. They caught nothing that night. When the sun came up, Jesus was standing on the beach, but they didn't recognize him.

5Jesus spoke to them: "Good morning! Did you catch anything for breakfast?"

They answered, "No."

6He said, "Throw the net off the right side of the boat and see what happens."

They did what he said. All of a sudden there were so many fish in it, they weren't strong enough to pull it in.

7-9Then the disciple Jesus loved said to Peter, "It's the Master!"

When Simon Peter realized that it was the Master, he threw on some clothes, for he was stripped for work, and dove into the sea. The other disciples came in by boat for they weren't far from land, a hundred yards or so, pulling along the net full of fish. When they got out of the boat, they saw a fire laid, with fish and bread cooking on it.

10-11Jesus said, "Bring some of the fish you've just caught." Simon Peter joined them and pulled the net to shore—153 big fish! And even with all those fish, the net didn't rip.

12Jesus said, "Breakfast is ready." Not one of the disciples dared ask, "Who are you?" They knew it was the Master.

13-14Jesus then took the bread and gave it to them. He did the same with the fish. This was now the third time Jesus had shown himself alive to the disciples since being raised from the dead.


Been stewing on this passage this week.. Love the thoughts in this story.. Watched a video earlier this week that brought the following thoughts forward:

First of all the God of the Universe.. the Master of the Storm, makes his disciples breaky.. I mean really... talk about a servant's heart in a Savior. I love that our God has servanthood at the core of who He is. He is constantly looking out to us to minister to us, to serve us, to find ways to take care of us. I love that so early in the morning, Jesus is sitting around a fire, making something for His friends to eat. It's such an amazing gift, to know that His heart is all about service.

Then the storyline with Peter & Jesus also knocks me out.. Peter & Jesus had tension, they had "issues".. but here we see Peter throwing himself out of the boat and trying to get to the very One that he had betrayed such a short time before. Obviously they had a discussion previously to this, obviously Peter spent some time with Jesus talking about his "discretions".. and then this meeting. Peter so excited to see the One who has forgiven him and assured him yet again that he is a part of the family. Then Jesus starts asking probing questions - do you love me? He brings up Peter's greatest insecurity - Peter probably felt like i have many times that i have messed up i have been a looser - there's no way that i can ever be put into use again. why would God ever bother with me again. That's what Jesus is saying here.. I know your heart Peter.. i know that you love me, that your heart is set on me. Your love is what i am looking for - don't worry about the rest.. get out there, serve, get out there and minister.. I know you are not perfect, I know that you don't have your stuff together. I'm notrequiringg that.. just love me.. the rest will follow.

That's awesome.. so reassuring to me. Jesus the servant.. is looking for my love.. the rest.. He'll deal with, and use.. just love on Him.. that's the work.. the rest is up to Him.

The Challenge

I think the challenge in life is learning to let go.. To learn that we are itty bitty and that God is BIG BIG.. and that we really can't do for ourselves. To know that our place in this life is something that is to relax in not take forcibly what has always been God's.

Matt R. does this great song that states "We are Breathing the breath that You gave gave us to breath" - so true.. everything that we have is from God even down to our breath. We can't even breath on our own.

In a lot of ways that's irritating. I mean we FEEL like we have things together like we can do stuff on our own, like we are making it in this life. Whatever we study or work at appears on the surface to be going well because of our intellect or amazing powers of reasoning. Sometimes I don't LIKE the fact that even the air that i breath was put there by God, and is breathed into me, by His grace. Sometimes I have a lot of trouble accepting help. A hard time recognizing my need, and admitting my smallness..

But othertimes, it's LOUD and in my face like a freight train. I can't escape my littleness, can't escape knowing that i am so small. I want to be grown up, i want to do the things i see the big kids doing around me, but I am reminded every second that I am still so small.

It is somewhat reassuring to know as well that I am not responsible as a small, weak individual. We never expect from our little kids. we never ask of the ones who can't help themselves. They just are.. and they are taken care of.. Stolen moments of play and happiness is what they are after, not effort or trying.

So.. the challenge for today is to rest in what Daddy has shown me for today. To trust that tomorrow is going to be provided for, and to Know beyond doubt that His love for me is never changing.

So Afraid - Bebo Norman

Verse 1:]
Take my heart, and wring it out
In Your hands and watch it all collapse
Take Your Love, and drive it in
Into my soul, and never leave again...because

[Chorus:]
I am so afraid that I’ll find myself alone
Looking for a savior, looking for a home
I am so afraid that I’ll find myself alone
Looking for a savior, Lookin for a home
So don’t leave me here alone

[Verse 2:]
All Your hope, and all my pride
All this time to watch it all collide
When everyone seems to say, “You can work it out”
Under my skin, I’m shaking and I can’t get out

[Chorus]

So don’t leave me here

[Bridge:]

This is not what You've said; it’s all in my head
And I throw my anger at You instead
So don’t give up on me, I want to believe
That You’ll never leave me, but...

I am so afraid that I’ll find myself alone
Looking for a savior, looking for a home
I am so afraid that I’ll find myself alone
Deep into the ages, deep into the fold
I am so afraid that I’ll find myself alone
Looking for a savior, looking for a home
So don’t leave me here alone

My Love - Bebo Norman

My love, will you take my hand and run
My love, can't you see that we have just begun

When she walks into a room, the whole world freezes
To watch her spin just like the wind above the ground
She won't break into you heart, she just eases
Without a sound...

My love is deeper than the darkness of my soul
And my love has the habit of forgetting to let go

And the crowd was pressing inlike perfect strangers
That was the day I felt her hand slip out of mine
She looked at me and I don't think she even wavered
As she waved goodbye...
She did not cry...
But she waved goodbye...

My love, why did you take my heart and run
My love, can't you see that we had just begun

Long Way Home - Bebo Norman

It's a long way home, and the fists have flown
In the silence, there's nowhere left to run
It's the battle of our pending love
In the shadow of another smoking gun

When we dreamed this dream
For the first time, it seemed
We could live this love for a lifetime
You and me
So I will

[chorus]
I will not give up this fight
I will not lay down and die
I will not carry this heart of stone
I may not be your place to run
I may not be your kingdom come
I may stumble through this great unknown
But I will be all that is true
I will not give up on you
I was made to be with you alone
Cause you and me, we're gonna see
The long way home

It's a long way home, and the crying's done
But the sorrow is still wet upon your face
Our colliding hearts sometimes break apart
But now the pieces are gathered up in grace

When we dream this dream
For the last time, we'll see
That we lived this love for a lifetime
Just you and me
So I will

[chorus]
I will not give up this fight
I will not lay down and die
I will not carry this heart of stone
I may not be your place to run
I may not be your kingdom come
I may stumble thru this great unknown
But I will be all that is true
I will not give up on you
I was made to be with you alone
Cause you and me, we're gonna see
The long way home

I will not give up this fight
I will not lay down and die
I will not carry this heart of stone
Cause I am not your place to run
I am not your kingdom come
And I may stumble thru this great unknown
But I will be all that is true
I will not give up on you
I was made to be with you alone

Cause you and I, we're gonna fly
The long way home

Never Know What It Is Till You Need It

So.. I'm a girl, and I don't always know lots about "Car Land".. But I do know when a piece of Fiberglas flies off your work's building and hits your black car, there will be damage done to your car, liken to sandpaper being rubbed across your paint finish.

Well.. Thankfully I have a friend who's a car detailer. Something that I have never looked into before and quite frankly didn't have an interest in. Basically a detailer takes care of the dings and scratches that happen to cars in the run of their lives. The bugs that get embedded into your windshield, he can get out, those mysterious stains on the carpets from picking up friends and things get inexplicably on your floor - he can take care of that.

So it got me thinking yesterday morning about how that is just the way God is.. He's a detailer in our lives. He can get rid of scratches and dents, and restore us to be the people we were create to be. His joy and fulfillment (where mine certainly is not), comes out of seeing his creation restored and put back together. I love that His passion is restoration.. and making things whole again. He is so very good.