Gut Reaction

So.. I had an amazing experience yesterday, and I was shocked at both my reaction and my thinking.. I have no idea where it came from - It must have been Jesus cause I don't react to situations like this. Most times when confronted with news or a situation that is painful and intense.. I get upset, I mope or I get angry. Usually this lasts for a good 12 hrs or so, and then FINALLY in desperation I turn to Him.. It's like He's my last resort, the last person I run to cause I figure He'll just calm me and that will infuriate me!! :)

Some news hit my ears yesterday that normally would make me reel - but yesterday I just went to my knees.. and said God I know 3 things : 1. You are faithful. 2. Your timing is perfect 3. No matter what happens You are altogether good. Those things centered me, made me really think about Him, and all that He is doing, and once I captured a look see at Jesus, the situation was not scary anymore.

See that's the lesson from Peter walking on the water- Once he saw a glimpse of Jesus out on that stormy night, it gave him courage, and complete trust. It was nothing for him to jump out of that boat and do some pretty wacky gravity defying things. Keepin' our eyes on the look out for Jesus is what we need to do.. Make sure that He is who we are looking for no matter what the situation presents. Not to worry about the outcome, but to focus on the One who saves.

I pray this wasn't a fluke.. Oh to learn this lesson well.

Been Thinking About...

So been chewing all week on the Will of God.. Been listening to a great speaker that is teaching on some of the pitfalls that we fall into when thinking about the will of God..

I usually think that God has a specific thing He wants me to do.. go here, talk to that person, have this job, go to this church, etc. etc. And I believe in certain situations, yep that is what He is up to.. but as I look into this teaching, more and more I realize the freedom that is found in recognizing the different Wills of God..

1. His sovereign Will - This is the will that we don't understand.. It's the will that speaks and makes things happen. Nothing can thwart it, nothing at all that we can do can stop it. Whether we make good choices or bad choices, this type of will will continue (Eph 1:11, Rom 1:18). It's God's "secret plan that controls the outcome of all matters in the universe". This is what the Bible means in scripture when it talks about God hardening and softening hearts - it's His sovereign will.

2. His Moral Will - This is the will that wants every human to be saved. It appears to fly in the face of His sovereign Will (why so many people fight over pre-destination).. but the truth is .. they work together as a holy mystery. We can't understand how God can say "i will harden those I will Harden and soften those who I will soften, and I'm not willing to see any man perish".. we can't make sense of that stuff.. but .. um.. we are not God.. :) God's word is His moral will.. and it's not about specifics, but about being protected. As long as we are in His moral will we are protected.

3. His Individual Will - We think.. who will i marry, how will i know, where will i go to school, how will my life look in 20 years.. It's not that God doesn't care about that stuff, or have desires for us in this lifetime, but His individual will has NOTHING to do with where we are, but everything to do with WHO we are. Asking the question - who should i marry is the wrong question - what KIND of person should I marry is the proper one. I used to think that it was a particular path, and if we get off the path then GOd will use our ignorance, but it won't be the best life.. but it's not like that.. It's about our hearts, and our lives lived before Him.. It is all about the inward, not the outward. Col 1:9

So.. When I worry if this decision or that decision is in or out of GOd's will.. well it can never be out of his sovereign will - He's too big for that.. I can get myself messed about with His moral will - i need to ask - what does His word say?? if it's good with that.. then onwards.. and then finally to deal with me and God's Individual will for me.. what kind of person does this decision make me? And voila.. you know if you are in God's will.. HECK of a lot less complicated that it's been made out to be.. and SOOO much freedom. Praise God for His will!!

So.. someone very wise said this to me today.. and I've been chewing on it all day..

"When you come at me with your love torch...please open the eyes of my heart to the depth of your love for me...”

A prayer from the heart for sure.. to know the depths of God in our lives when we are going through really painful moments is to have peace and hope regardless of the circumstance. If we ask for open hearts to recieve everything from His hand, irregardless of the pain we might endure, we will be safer, happier and blessed indeed.

Abiding

1 Corinthians 3:3-6The world is unprincipled. It's dog-eat-dog out there! The world doesn't fight fair. But we don't live or fight our battles that way—never have and never will. The tools of our trade aren't for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture. We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ. Our tools are ready at hand for clearing the ground of every obstruction and building lives of obedience into maturity.

**** Sigh ***** a long day.. Was reading about Abiding in Christ this afternoon and Oswald Chambers encourages you to dig into the Abiding, that you have to work to get there and stay there..It just doesn't happen by accident. And I'm pondering that one.. I agree that remembering to abide is aconsciouss thought.. You have to set your clock, to remind yourself every few hours to Abide..Until you make it a habit to turn every thought and action over to Him.. Which is what this passage is all about.. It's about fitting our lives...Every thought..All my crazy impulses, and every emotion sad, glad, mad, you know all of them, into His way of life. See my way of life is not positive.. I will self destruct..But in His way of life, flourish. Hard lesson to learn..Must be why so many have to hit rock bottom. I have been there more than once.. In fact I hit one this afternoon :) But It amazes me that as He pulls my life to Maturity He clears the ground of obstruction along the way. Every time something comes up that I freak out about - He reminds me, that it's not reality that there is something more out there for me, that I don't have to fear those things that I see as big scary monsters. I just need to abide in Him. Let Him be the Strong Arm, let Him be my body guard.

Oswald Chambers

Okay so I'm not a big one to do a blog completely out of others quotes but today's thought from My Utmost for His Highest.. is incredible.. wow..

Ask if you have not received. There is nothing more difficult than asking. We will have yearnings and desires for certain things, and even suffer as a result of their going unfulfilled, but not until we are at the limit of desperation will we ask. It is the sense of not being spiritually real that causes us to ask. Have you ever asked out of the depths of your total insufficiency and poverty? "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God . . . " ( James 1:5 ), but be sure that you do lack wisdom before you ask. You cannot bring yourself to the point of spiritual reality anytime you choose. The best thing to do, once you realize you are not spiritually real, is to ask God for the Holy Spirit, basing your request on the promise of Jesus Christ (see Luke 11:13 ). The Holy Spirit is the one who makes everything that Jesus did for you real in your life.

"Everyone who asks receives . . . ." This does not mean that you will not get if you do not ask, but it means that until you come to the point of asking, you will not receive from God (seeMatthew 5:45 ). To be able to receive means that you have to come into the relationship of a child of God, and then you comprehend and appreciate mentally, morally, and with spiritual understanding, that these things come from God.

"If any of you lacks wisdom . . . ." If you realize that you are lacking, it is because you have come in contact with spiritual reality— do not put the blinders of reason on again. The word ask actually means "beg." Some people are poor enough to be interested in their poverty, and some of us are poor enough spiritually to show our interest. Yet we will never receive if we ask with a certain result in mind, because we are asking out of our lust, not out of our poverty. A pauper does not ask out of any reason other than the completely hopeless and painful condition of his poverty. He is not ashamed to beg— blessed are the paupers in spirit (see Matthew 5:3 ).

Wrong Side of the Hedge

God hedges in His own that He may preserve them, but oftentimes they
only see the wrong side of the hedge, and so misunderstand His dealings.
It was so with Job (Job 3:23). Ah, but Satan knew the value of that
hedge! See his testimony in chapter 1:10. Through the leaves of every
trial there are chinks of light to shine through. Thorns do not prick you
unless you lean against them, and not one touches without His knowledge.
The words that hurt you, the letter which gave you pain, the cruel
wound of your dearest friend, shortness of money--are all known to Him, who
sympathizes as none else can and watches to see, if, through all, you
will dare to trust Him wholly.

Mrs. Charles E. Cowman


Been chewing on this quote.. Perspective is everything afterall.. For some the hedge that God places in our lives, is a source of containment, a prison sentance, a place where God is keeping the good out and they are stuck in a lonley solitary place. I've been guilty of thinking this way so many times.

BUT in reality, we are looking at the wrong side of the hedge.. For on the outside it is a place of protection and safety, it's a place that God has guarded our hearts, and has kept enemies away from. It's a place that He has designed for us, and is helping us to grow and become His kids in.

Amazing really what a turn in perspective can do!

A Grateful Heart

Lord, I thank You for your mercy in my life. I asked 20 years ago for you to have mercy on my heart, and for 20 years, you have extended mercy into my life at each step along the way. Every harsh word, every lie, every mistake, each time I fought for my rights, every lapse in judgment, all my insecurity, every minute of every day, your mercy has extended out to me. I have known mercy. For I was in great need and would have lost my way without you.

Lord, I thank You for protection. Every moment that I know about and the millions more that I don't. You have saved me from the most hostile of situations and continuously show me how You have protected both my body and my heart. I know that my life is safe with You, that no matter what the world throws at me, I can rest in Your ability to rescue me at every step of the way.

I thank You for grace. That I don't get what I have deserved. Every person you have put in my life has shown this grace to me, and has put up with countless moods, funks, and inability to be a good friend, and have loved me through it. You have shown much grace to me in the lives of those around me. You are looking for ways to prove to me that Your grace is enough for me. I never have to go looking for your grace, it lays heavy on my life like a fog.

I thank you for Your love. I have asked for so many answers in my life about love, and pursued so hard after it. But even as I write this you speak over me "You are loved, that is all you ever need know. Right now in this moment you are loved." I have tried so many approaches looked so many places, had so much energy and effort spent fighting for it, and I thank you that all along Your love has been a constant. I have never strayed from it, never ran past it, never been in a place Your love could not reach. I am learning that only Your love is complete and gives me what I need.

I thank you for Your song. The one that I have always heard singing in my heart. It has been a light in many dark times, and has kept me going when I could not find my way. I can hear it when I cry tears late at night, and I can hear it when the crowd is deafening. It has never left me when I was screaming another song, and it has always let me know that I am redeemed. It is truly a delight of my heart that the Father's song has been sung over me, and that I know it when I hear it.

Truly You are the everything to me. Even when I need convincing of the fact, You have never given up on me. I am so grateful for Your efforts and desire to see me go deeper into Your covering. You have put this desire for deeper waters in my heart, and as I've asked for growth, you have provided the circumstances, and the heart ache to make it so. For truly in the hard times, You have shown more to me than in the good times. Truly, in my brokenness You have shown me more of your character, than those fleeting moments when I feel that I have the world. Your work is so much more lasting than I could ever express. I know that You will faithfully finish all that You have started in me. I am overwhelmed.

Eject Sin With Love - From God Calling

Remember that Love is the power which transforms the world. Love not only of Me, Love not only of the few dear to you but Love of all - the publicans - the sinners - the harlots - Love.

It is the only weapon with which sin can be driven out. Drive sin out with Love.

Drive fear and depression and despair and a sense of failure out with Praise.

Praise is the acknowledgement of that which I have sent you. Few men would send a further gift of payment until they had receipt the acknowledgement of the previous one. So praise, acknowledging, as it does, that My gift and blessing leaves the way open for Me to shower yet more on the thankful heart.

Learn as a child learns to say "thank you" as a courtesy, with perhaps no real sense of gratitude at all. Do this until at last a thrill of joy, a thankful awe, will accompany the spoken word.

Do not expect for yourselves feeling that you know others have or had had. Just go on along the arid way of obedience, and persistence will be rewarded as you come to the Spring, the glad Spring of Water.

Oh, joy in Me and, as far as in you lies, shed Joy on all around.

Davinchi Code

So i went to see the flick last night.. Mostly because people were saying NOT to go.. I'm such a punk that I will do something if someone tells me NOT to do something.

There's a part in the movie where Tom Hank's Charector is talking about whether to let the "secret" out of the bag about the heir of Jesus. He talks about when he was 7 and was stuck in a well and called out to Jesus. He said "does it really matter if Jesus was a man or divine? Either way, I called out to him, and either way He gave me hope".. I guess that's the point of the movie.. Does it really matter that Jesus was divine?

I was chewing on that for the rest of the night, and as I drove to work this morning I cried because I know that it is. How hopeless my life would be if He was just a man. I don't want another human to look up to. Humans fail us, humans will dissapoint, humans consistantly do the wrong thing. I need a super hero. I need the Divine someone who is not like me in any way. Someone who can not only help with problems, but solve them for me. Someone who's affections are set on me, and has limitless rescources. To look at Jesus in any other way is hopeless.. it's one of those all or nothing things. Either Jesus is Divine, or He's a phoney!

I am so glad that I know the REAL Jesus, His life is not hidden in a code, or some mystery that I have to uncover. He is real to me, and makes Himself known to me every day as I reach out to Him. There is NOTHING less that would be satisfying.

PS. the movie stinks, bad screenplay and bad acting.. so it's a renter for SURE :)