Some Clarity

So i chatted with my grandmother about my father the other night. Very rarely will she talk about him at all, it seems to make her really sad. i don't think that she has gotten over another one of her children dying before her. She was talking about my grandfather and how loving and caring he was (I can remember his kindness even though he died when i was only 6 years old). She said, "your father was nothing like your grandfather, he really wasn't capable of love. People like that shouldn't get married, or especially have children". I couldn't believe that she said that, couldn't believe she was admitting those things to me. It was a good affirming moment, cause it's something we knew all along, but to hear his own mother admit to it, was a small victory. I feel bad for my grandmother, I'm sure she blames herself, but the truth is she didn't cause his problems as a child, and she didn't have the means or the ability to protect him from his disease that cause anti-social tendancies. 11 years later a small reassurance that what we all knew was a reality.