Funerals

I hate funerals. Rather I hate the sense of helplessness you feel when you are standing there, trying to think of something that won't sound totally stupid coming out of your mouth. I would like to think that I have a bit of a grip on death and dying, having lost so many close to me, but the truth is each death and loss is significant and as different as the next, so each time you revisit the "life event" you go through all the old emotions all over again. Denial, anger, depression, blame, acceptance. I always thought the acceptance part was a bit of an oxymoron. How can you accept death? How can you accept the fact that someone is gone forever, that you will never ever get a chance to tease that person, love that person, or look at that person again. How does any of it make sense enough to accept it. If anyone knows please let me know, but as far as I am concerned each time a death occurs our entire existence is changed. Our vocabulary changes, our habits change, our social circles change, our holidays change. Nothing is ever the same after someone leaves our circle of influence, and I think it sucks. Royally.