Dreaming

Dreaming is such a random act. I mean why do you dream about certain people, say your x's? I would never in real life want to spend one second on earth with him again, but last night I dreamt that I remarried him. It was scary to see how people were totally all for him again, and us getting back together. I was willing, but still reluctant, and then in the end I realized he had never changed. He was still selfish, opinionated, cruel, and heartless. I woke up to my alarm, staring at the wall blankly, not understanding why I would ever dream I would remarry him. What was going on in my mind? Why did I dream that? Who in their right mind after having four years of freedom would ever (even if just on a subconscious level), want to go back to such a manipulator and an abuser. I am beyond words on this one. My "mind" is out of control this week. So full of irrational and illogical thoughts. I want to shut them out, to stop my mind from working, to let go and not deal with this stuff for five minutes. Sometimes I hate an analytical mind.